


Supernatural Girlfriends for Dummies

by firecrackerx



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Oneshot, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 11:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2579585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecrackerx/pseuds/firecrackerx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LaFontaine feels like they've spent their life chasing after Perry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supernatural Girlfriends for Dummies

**Author's Note:**

> Once more, a million thanks to fellow creampuff LadyMinevra for being an excellent beta.

"I've seen Carmilla drink blood, I've seen her set things on fire with her mind, I've seen her punch another vampire... But as soon as we start dating, she gets all seventeenth century coy on me. That's very cute and all, but I need a contemporary dating pace and lots of data, because I am dating a vampire and if I don't start getting a little information on how all this works, I am going to freak out."

God, they loved Laura so much and would stay for her in another long, long conversation about the many enigmas of being a human in a relationship with a supernatural creature until its end, but it really was the last thing LaFontaine needed.

"You two will figure out the little details," they kept saying.

There was so much more LaFontaine could have said. Don't worry, Laura, you are not the first human to date a supernatural creature around here, surprise. Don't worry, Laura, I am an expert by now. Laura, be sure to pay close attention to your supernatural creature, they usually come with bonus features that pop culture didn't warn you about. As fascinating as it may look at first, Laura, don't step into their world, it will consume you and you will spend your whole life wondering about things that have no answer and getting into all kinds of trouble.

But they didn't say any of those things. Instead, they just nodded now and then and added a "Yeah, I understand..."

 

LaFontaine kept thinking on their way back, after having said goodbye, going over all the things they wished they could have said. They passed by students returning to their rooms for the night, the dark gloom of Styria's night looking thick and menacing at the other side of the windowpanes. The corridor's lights were still lit, fending the almost otherworldly darkness away. LaFontaine’s legs felt heavy as they walked, still mentally reviewing all the advice they had kept inside.

...There will be times, Laura, when you will have no idea of what's happening. You'll notice little things, these things here and there that just won't fit comfortably in your human head. Oh, I know about all this stuff, it's been many years for me, after all. You'll notice she's done something, one day, a little too fast. Where did that food come from? You'll remember it was raw two minutes ago. Your brain will make this nasty screech, Laura, like a machine under too much strain, trying to adjust. Did you know she makes a little disapproving noise when something supernatural is close by? She can just sense it, and at first it made my skin crawl with fear and, later, with excitement. Maybe yours is not like mine, but you need to pay attention, close attention. Did you know she doesn't need to sleep as much as we do? She just likes how normal it feels to go to bed every night for eight hours, and she likes dreaming. She can put herself to sleep, too. When she is upset, when she is sad, she just lies down and knocks herself out. Just like that. But I've seen her stay awake for several days before midterms, looking like she just missed a few hours of sleep. Isn't that amazing? She won't let me run any tests, though. You don’t think I'd run a painful test on her, do you, L? One that would make her feel like an animal? I know it seems ridiculous to even think about it, but she does worry…

LaFontaine paused in the middle of the corridor and sighed. It would have been nice to really ask Laura about it and let her reassure them for once, like they did for her. They imagined Laura's attentive face, the shadow of a frown over her sympathetic eyes. They imagined the friendly room, just a little bit too messy to be polite for company, and the unhealthy treats Laura would share with them. LaFontaine kept walking, looking at their own feet and drawing the lines of Laura's face in their mind, going over the words unsaid.

...you see, L, I know Perry and I work together. I know we support each other. But somehow I feel like I've always been chasing her. I chased her when she was a little lonely girl, because I wanted to be her friend. I grew up learning about her secrets, the human and the supernatural, and trying to catch up with all of it, wondering if she would ever love me like I loved her. And by the time she did, when we started kissing behind closed doors and holding hands beneath tables, I was in too deep already. I couldn't believe it, Laura. She was so responsible, so caring, so beautiful. All I brought her were broken bones, scratches and booze she always swore she would not drink and yet always drank anyways. She still walks around the residence checking that everything is alright, caring, supervising, and I trail behind her feeling like I will never stop chasing after her, one way or the other. I know she cares about me. I know she needs me too, so I don't mind if I have to keep doing it, I don't. But sometimes I wonder, Laura, if I always have to run after her like this, will she ever step ahead and leave me behind, without even noticing...?

 

When they arrived to the room, Perry was sitting at the desk in front of her laptop. She had everything but chained herself to that desk during the last few days while the stalagmites of books from the library surrounding her kept growing impossibly taller. LaFontaine had missed her in bed, lulled instead to sleep every night by the gentle tapping of her fingers on the keys.

"Still working?" they asked, placing a quick kiss on the top of Perry's head and starting to change their clothes.

"Hmm..." she murmured, then turned around in the chair. "Oh, do you want something hot to drink before going to sleep?"

LaFontaine looked at her for a moment, trying to decide if seizing the opening for a dirty comment Perry had offered was a good idea. 

"No, it's okay," they said, feeling the joke dissolve. A precious opportunity for inappropriate humor wasted. They really needed to get some sleep to shake off this grumpiness.

The bed was warm and comfortable, if a little empty on the right side. LaFontaine watched the lines of Perry's face and hair, haloed by the soft light of the laptop in the dark room, until they felt sleepy enough to close their eyes and not think about patterns, habits, and chasing Lola Perry.

 

An ungodly loud noise suddenly jolted LaFontaine awake. "What the fuck...?" They sat up in bed. There was urgent knocking at the door. "What time is it?"

"Ten past three. I'll take care of whatever is it," whispered Perry from the desk, her back turned to LaFontaine.

"No, it's alright..." they growled, kicking off the covers and opening the door barely a fraction to listen to a wide-eyed first year student. The beds were pushed together, so they asked her to wait a moment outside and closed the door again.

"Is everything alright?"

"First year borrowed a book she shouldn't have from the library and now it's going full-on albatross in her room," they said, roughly smoothing down their hair before grabbing the baseball bat Laura had given them full custody of. "I’m gonna take it down. I'll be back in just a sec."

"Darling?" Perry whispered without turning to them.

"Yes?"

"Pants."

"What? Oh, damn. Pants. Good call."

"Hmm... Oh, and will you please tell her it's some sort of prank the seniors pull on new students who borrow very ancient books? Just ask her to steer clear of anything pre-sixteenth century and she should be alright."

"A prank? Those books float and charge against you. Do you really expect anyone to go along with stuff like that?" they sighed. But falling so easily, so naturally into their usual arguments made LaFontaine feel better than when they had gone to bed, for a reason they were unable to explain. Of course, they were about to go beat a flying book into submission without a second thought, which proved there was an abundance of inexplicable things in their life. LaFontaine finished getting into something half decent to walk through the corridor, grabbed the bat and left the room, giving the perplexed first-year a reassuring smile.

 

Beating a flying book into submission was somehow therapeutic and finding Perry undressing and ready to finally go to bed after three whole days of wakeful study was even better.

"That was fast."

"I'll have you know I probably hold the record of books beaten with a baseball bat..."

"National record?" Perry climbed into the bed and held the blanket until LaFontaine joined her.

"The world record, mind you," they muttered, closing their eyes. Perry rested her head on their shoulder and her hair spilled all over LaFontaine's chest, brushing their neck. They sighed contentedly, sneaking an arm around Perry's shoulder to hold her close. "Did you finish studying?"

"Oh, I wasn’t studying. Just... checking some things," came Perry's voice. LaFontaine opened their eyes again in the darkness, wishing they could see Perry's face.

"Checking some things? You've been on that desk three whole days and nights." They felt Perry move a little and their chin came to rest against the top of her head. "Perr?"

"I was trying to understand some things. Give names to everything I don't..." her voice cracked a little. LaFontaine didn't try to rush her. They knew Lola’s feelings didn’t usually translate to words. She spoke with her brain and acted with her heart. There was so much built up and hidden away within her chest, LaFontaine sometimes thought, so much unsaid for so many years, that every time she actually tried to express it, she choked. But if she was truly going to speak, it would be now, without looking into their eyes, in the darkness and holding them tight. LaFontaine knew this too.

"I am sorry," said Perry, her hand looking for LaFontaine's. "I’m just trying to understand everything. Names help, usually. I was just trying to read about your... your gender now, and what that makes you and what it makes me. I just need some order. In my mind."

"Have you been reading gender theory stuff for the last three days?"

"I tried, but I still can't understand some things. I… I still can't understand _myself_. It drives me crazy. I have found names to describe every possible gender and sexual orientation, but I don't think I fit in any of those categories. I don't really like boys, or girls, or... genderqueer people..." she said, and LaFontaine could almost see the word roll off her tongue all shiny and new, still unfamiliar in her mouth. "You are the only person I've ever... Until you, I had never liked anyone. And I had never wanted to..."

After a moment of hesitation, Perry slipped her hand from LaFontaine's hold, leaving only her middle finger in their grasp. LaFontaine swallowed and felt a hint of heat bloom in their face in understanding as they felt Perry's finger slowly caressing the hollow of their hand. 

"I can't stop thinking about it, but these things don't come easily to me. What do you call someone who is only interested in one single dork in the whole world?"

"...Lola Perry?"

"Oh, shut up..." she laughed a little, but it died quickly. "I am sorry, LaFontaine. You told me this... this really important thing about yourself and I made it all about me. I just wanted to understand everything as best as I could, or at least try to."

"Perr," LaFontaine hesitated for a second, their voice thick with doubt, "are you having trouble accepting all this?"

"What? No. No! Of course it's not that!" she said quickly, indignant, propping herself up on an elbow to look at LaFontaine. "I just wanted to understand things right away for once! You always know me, know us, so well! You’re obsessed with all your stupid tests, and your science, and your logical methods, and yet you are always the one who can read my feelings while I am still confused and scared and I don't understand what is happening! I just wanted to keep up, for once, and not keep you waiting months or years like I always do. You are always so stupidly brave," she said, faster, louder, her voice trembling a little, "you jump ahead while I stay behind, you have to carry us both all the time while I try to come to terms with things I already love! I just wanted to be side by side with you in this, just this once, without having to run after you, like I always do!"

LaFontaine looked at her, momentarily paralyzed. Then they covered their eyes with their hands, swallowing a sob:

"Dammit, Lola."

They threw their arms around her, bringing her down hard against their body, hugging her tight. Perry didn't resist, melting into their arms with the ease of years of intimacy. What did it matter if she was a supernatural creature who had only ever liked one single dork in the whole world? They would explain to her that a supernatural creature who had only ever liked one single dork in the whole world was exactly the thing they needed above everything else.

 

...you see, Laura, supernatural creatures are unpredictable. They pick the worst habits from human beings and make your head ache without even realizing it. She will bring you inside her world of weirdness, intentionally or not, and you will have to deal with it your whole life. You will feel there is something uncanny and sharp in her that you'll never be able to find again, so you'll spend your whole life chasing her. And don't expect any signs of this, because supernatural creatures tend to be very secretive, but if you are lucky enough, Laura, she will spend her life chasing you too...


End file.
